Love & Logic Parenting Tip: Say "No" by Saying "Yes" to Something Else

by Angie Anderson, independent facilitator of the "Becoming a Love & Logic Parent" Program

If you have children, you know that some of the most common words used with them in a day can be the words like “no” “don’t” “stop” etc. Children are always experimenting and testing their parents to see what their limits are, so it seems natural that we as parents would have to tell them “no” quite often.

Because these negative words can put a kid right into the defensive frame of mind, I would like to suggest a simple way to avoid situations that can lead to arguments, frustration and dreaded temper tantrums. Instead of telling a kid what they can’t do, try telling them what they can do!

This may seem difficult at first and requires a little more thought on a parents part, but once you’ve tried it, you will find that it’s much easier than the ensuing fight that follow negative statements. Here are some examples…

Instead of these Negative statements... No! You can’t go outside to play until your chores are done. Don’t eat your food in the living room! Stop climbing on the table! Don’t leave your toys all over the floor. Don’t forget your coat.

Try replacing with Positive statements: You can go outside as soon as your chores are done. Food belongs in the kitchen. Thanks for taking it to the kitchen and eating it at the table. Please keep your feet on the floor. Time to put your toys in the toy box. Remember your coat.

Simply say “no” by saying “yes” to something else!

Give this little tip a try and enjoy fewer battles with your children!

Thanks for reading!

~Angie Anderson Independent facilitator of the “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” program For more information and class schedule please visit or call 801-298-0786.